Can’t make interview small talk? Try the 3-sentence formula.

Interview basics

Nov 3

There’s a lot of advice out there about how to make what you say during your interview “memorable” or “unique” enough so that the interviewer will remember you.

And hey, being memorable is great. Who wants to be forgettable?

But.

Small talk haters – forget being memorable

Being memorable is a Level 2 interview goal - what about those of us still working on Level 1 interview goals like trying to sound smart, competent, and like we have semi-decent social skills?

What if you hate small talk? What if you completely suck at it?

What if you freeze when someone asks you a personal question, whether in or out of an interview?

Is this person, the small talk hater, really worried about being memorable? Showing personality? I think not.

Forget looking for the perfect, witty/funny thing to say

Small talk haters are just worried about thinking of anything at all – not the absolute perfect thing – to say in response to the question.

And that’s okay.

Stop chasing perfection in your interview communication

Stop trying to be whatever it is - funny, brilliant, quirky, funny-brilliant-sexy, etc. - you think will get you the job.

Stop thinking about making a “good first impression” or a “lasting impression” or showing that you have a “great personality.”

Those goals are unquantifiable and will just torture you because how do you even know what words will achieve the right/perfect effect?

Does this story remind you of your feelings about small talk?

I had a client recently who was interviewing for Business Analyst roles.

And she was very qualified.

She came to me to work on her interview answers but in the end I realized she had mostly come to me because she was stuck on small talk.

By “stuck” I mean she couldn’t do small talk. At all.

When the interviewer would ask her a question about describing her duties at her last job she had no problem answering it. She had to practice somewhat before she could do a great job with the answer, but she could do it.

But when they asked her “Where do you live?” she could NOT answer the question.

Of course I asked her about her feelings on small talk and why she couldn’t think of anything to say and it came down to her not liking to talk about personal issues with strangers.

But she knew she had to get better at it because her interviews were stalling out because of the awkward pauses.

Yes, awkward pauses aren’t good in your interview.

So I came up with an idea for her that worked.

How to make interview small talk if you’re bad at small talk

I call it the 3-sentence formula

It’s basically the idea that if someone asks you a small talk question, something that isn’t related to the job or your professional background, you MUST say 3 sentences in response.

Not zero sentences.

Not one sentence.

Not even two.

It has to be three sentences.

I know, you were expecting something more impressive.

My formula works because it’s not asking for perfection.

Do you honestly think someone interviewing for a job title that ends in “Analyst” is looking for a brilliant, sexy, comedienne who will exchange witty banter with them all day long until they ride off into the sunset together?

No, they’re just looking for a smart, competent, experienced person who can hold a basic conversation without awkward pauses.

If you see yourself in my client example, try this rule. It works. Force yourself to say 3 sentences.

Here’s an example:

Interviewer: “How’s your day going?”

You: “Oh, pretty busy so far. I had a report due this morning so I’m catching up on email. How about you?”

Boring answer? Maybe.

Competent answer that makes her sound like a normal person? Yes.

You can always try for small talk perfection, but if you read all the way to the end of this article you might want to stick to the 3-sentence formula.

Once you get the job you can work on practicing small talk in lower stakes environments before your next interview.